


A Deeper Look

by twahtohnedskee



Series: DPS Tumblr fics [3]
Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: Character Study, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-06-05 20:52:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15179114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twahtohnedskee/pseuds/twahtohnedskee
Summary: Where Meeks had intelligence, Neil joy, and Charlie an unapologetic belligerence, Pitts didn’t seem to have anything exceptional about him. But that, of course, wasn’t true at all.





	A Deeper Look

Contrary to what one would normally assume, Gerard Pitts hardly ever questioned his place within the inner circle of the dead poets. He knew what people would think, as outsiders looking in. He didn’t seem to quite fit in with the rest of them. He wasn’t as out of this world as the others were. Where Meeks had intelligence, Neil joy, and Charlie an unapologetic belligerence, Pitts didn’t seem to have anything exceptional about him. But that, of course, wasn’t true at all.

He’d met them all in his first year at Welton. Meeks had been the first to reach out and maybe that was the reason that he’d always felt closer to Steven than any of the others. It was a bit intimidating at first. He was young, awkward, and desperate for acceptance although he tried his best not to show it. Neil, Charlie, and Knox were as thick as thieves even in those days, like a triumvirate of prep school rulers whom he needed to appease. They’d accepted him readily if not warmly when Meeks introduced him but during the first few months it felt like there was a palpable distance between him and them—one that only Meeks seemed capable of bridging without difficulty.

Gradually, partly through sheer physical proximity and mostly due to a heroic effort from Meeks, the distance disappeared. By the end of their first year, his friends had ceased to feel like detached spectres and more like flesh and blood. It was only when they had let him into their personal world of inside jokes and foolhardy acts that he was able to feel like one of them.

Coming from a family of two older brothers and one sister, Pitts was used to finding his place in a group. His grades might not have been as good as Meeks’ but he wasn’t stupid. He could keep up with the others just fine and they never treated him as if he couldn’t. Their acceptance of him was one of the greatest things in the world. Once, having snuck in some booze and drinking lazily on the pier, Charlie had raised a toast.

“To Pittsie,” he said, his smile only drooping a little, “probably the least messed up and most put together out of all of us.”

There was a chorus of “hear, hear” and the sound of Neil laughing. Knox threw an arm over Pitts’ shoulders. The light caught on the bottle Charlie had raised. It was one of Pitts’ fondest memories and he would look back on in when things got dark later on. After Neil’s death, he tried to remember all these small moments. He remembered hushed meetings in the cave, muffled laughter at the dinner table, and a time when they all felt invincible. Charlie didn’t like talking about it but Pitts felt like he had to cling to each memory like it might disappear the next day. After all, Neil essentially had. He told this to Steven, quietly, in the early morning before they were all expected to attend Neil’s funeral. Steven didn’t say anything; he just got up and held Pitts’ together as sobs shook through his body. Slowly, he provided his own memories and together they built an image of Neil that they could hang on to—one that was as celebratory of life as Neil deserved.

So when the time came to stand with his friends and all that they believed in, Pitts only allowed himself a moment’s hesitation. In that second images flashed in his mind crisp and clear—images of friendship and loyalty and love. Some people believed that there was nothing exceptional about him, but they were wrong. This is what was exceptional about Gerard Pitts: when the moment of truth came, he did not doubt. These were his friends, his family, and his place was with them


End file.
